My kids will never do that!

WARNING!
Let me first apologize to any men out there who happen to come across this. I know how much you love anything to do with this subject.

I know all of you mothers out there, and pre-mothers also, have gone through the "my child will never do that" series:

• My child will never have a binky past 1, especially in church.
• My child will never look like a rag-muffin in public.
• My child will never have a snotty nose or dirty face.
• My child will never act like that....do that....
• My child will never wear clothes that don't match.
• My child will never have diaper rash because I'll always change their diaper right when it's wet.
• Blah, blah, blah, blah

Of course I was one of those girls who always said this whenever I witnessed another child doing something or looking like something I didn't approve of for my future children. Of course I would have perfect, clean, well-behaved, put-together children. Don't we all think that? Let me just tell you, expectations are meant to be broken.

For the most part, my children are the sweet, pure, well-behaved, beautiful children that I always dreamed of. But....I can't leave for church without knowing I have two binkys (one backup); I once let my daughter go to the store in her raggy, dress-up Snow White dress; one of my kids always has a runny nose; my 5 year-old-daughter ended up changing the poopy baby the other day because I was on the phone and she was sick of smelling her sister; and the worst of all, I came into the bathroom the other day to find the scene in the above picture. Didn't I just get something like that on my email and was so thankful my children would never do something like that?

Oh, and did I mention, their timing was perfect as the inevitable day for Mommy was fast approaching and I had just purchased that box the day before. Back to Wal-Mart for the embarrasing "lone box of tampons in the shopping cart". Hey, at least it wasn't a pregancy test, huh!